No Going Back
by Bellatrix Kale
Summary: Written for an RP on LJ. A part of the Back in Black!verse. Bascially, Dean got pulled from Hell a few seconds too late and now he's a half demon. He's got a mean bloodlust, and the panic room just made it stronger. ONESHOT.


Twitches. Was this what he was coming to? Having anxiety twitches because he hadn't had any blood in a few days. Dean wanted to shout at the top of his lungs, which felt like they were on fire. He stared at his phone as he sat in the motel room he got. After escaping Bobby's panic room, he hopped in the Impala and drove as fast as he could to Pennsylvania to see someone. They didn't know he was coming just yet and he was nervous about calling.

Sucking it up and grabbing the phone, Dean flicked it open and dialed the number shakily. It rang for a few seconds before he heard someone pick up on the other line. "Hello," the voice said.

"Ash," he sighed, "it's Dean."

Her end went quiet before she said, "Dean... You haven't called in a while. Something up? Need help on a hunt or something like-"

"No!" His voice turned to a slight shout and he had to take another breath. "No... I'm just going through a rough patch right now. Could I maybe come see you?"

"You're in town?

"For a few days."

"Alright. I'll be home. Tori's been a little under the weather, so we'll be here."

"Okay. See you soon." Dean snapped his phone shut and held it against his forehead. Tori was sick? He hadn't seen her since... Dean didn't exactly want to think about it. He still had guilt looming over his head about that time, and he figured it was only going to get worse. With a goal set in mind, he got up and left the room going straight to his car. He wasn't far from Ashley's place and he could be there in less than thirty minutes.

Dean put the car in park after pulling into the driveway of Ashley's place. Technically, the place was her parents; but they lived in the next county over and kept this one for when the two friends weren't hunting. He got out of the Impala and focused on the door as he walked towards it. If she opened it, there'd be no going back. He'd have to and she would hate him for the rest of her life. That wasn't mattering too much to Dean at the current moment though. He had his eye on the prize: blood.

Knocking on the door, he kept one hand in his pocket to toy with the small pocket knife he had. If he didn't, Dean would look like he was shivering in the month of May. The door opened to reveal Ashley, her long dark hair down with it's slight curl and a smile on her face. She was dressed just like how Dean always remembered she had: jeans and a t-shirt. She never was the fancy type.

"It's good to see you Dean," she smiled.

He put on his best fake charm and said, "You're looking good. Have you been working out more?"

Ashley rolled her eyes and moved back from the door. "Get your butt in here." Dean walked past her into the house. It looked the same as the last time he visited. The walls were still a cream color and the sofa was still black. Television was in the same spot, too. "Where's Sam?"

Looking back at her over his shoulder, Dean frowned. "He's at Bobby's." He wasn't entirely sure that was a lie. Sam was either still there or out looking for him. More likely the latter.

"How is Bobby?" Ashley asked as she sat on the black sofa, tucking her legs under her. "I don't think I've seen him in a good two years."

Dean nodded as he made his way over to sit next to her. "He's good. Ash..." He wanted to ask, but how? How do you ask a friend to borrow some blood?

"I know that tone," she sighed. Ashley looked at him with a knowing look. "What do you want?"

He looked up at her and frowned. "I can't ask."

She narrowed her eyes. "It's not like you haven't ask me for things before. Now what do you want?" Her tone was stern, yet calm at the same time. Dean could already feel the guilt of her hanging over him.

"Blood," he muttered in a low tone. "I need blood."

A look of shock came onto Ashley's face. "Am I hearing right or did you just say blood?"

"I. Need. Blood."

Ashley's face twisted into a disgusted look. "For what?"

His shakes were getting worse and he felt as if he was about to loose it. Dean pulled the knife out from his pocket and swiftly flicked it open. Ashley immediately backed into the arm of the sofa with a fearful look on her face. "Ash, just a little. That's all."

"What the hell is wrong with you Dean?! Christo!" She pulled out a small vial from her jean pocket that he knew she always carried with her. It would be full of holy water.

Before he could find out if holy water would have an effect on him, Dean lunged at her. He caught both of her hands and pinned her into the corner of the sofa. She struggled, trying whatever means she could. Head butting, kicking, shaking. Dean kept her arms still and pressed himself against her to hold her down. "I just need a little," he said sounding desperate.

Dean noticed the look in her eyes turn to anguish and hate as he moved her hands together so he could use the knife. "You're sick, you know that. What the hell happened to you Dean!?" she shouted at him.

"Hell happened," he told her with a look of scorn as he made a small horizontal cut across her wrist. She winced in pain and he saw the blood seep from the cut. Just the sight of it made his eyes shift to pure black. "This is what I am now." Dean said no more and went to sucking on the cut, trying to get as much blood as he could. He wasn't sure if he would be able to stop...

Her protests and whines caused him to stop after a minute or two. "Please Dean. Just stop..." Ashley always put up a good front, much like he did. Seeing her vulnerable with her guard down like this... Dean just wanted to throw up and another part of him yearned for more. He licked his lips and eyed her other wrist, not content with the amount he got. "Dean," she sniffled.

He moved a little and whispered to her, "Just a little more." Dean made an identical cut on her other wrist. This time, he didn't wait for the blood to flow from it before attacking it like a hungry animal. Ashley trembled slightly under him, seeming to get woozy from the blood loss. This brought him to his senses and Dean knew he was more than full. He pulled away with a smack of his lips and saw she was struggling just to keep her eyes open.

"What are you?" she managed to ask.

"A monster," Dean told her while flicking the knife shut and loosening his grip, knowing she was somewhat weak and wouldn't try to hurt him. "I'm the hunt now." He let go of her arms and pulled her into a comforting hug. "And I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize to me," Ashley said in a disgusted tone. "Get off me," she told him in an angry tone.

Dean let go of her and gave her a sympathetic look. "Ash, I-"

"Go before I call Sam!"

Quickly, Dean got up. He looked around the room for a moment before hurrying out of the house and getting in the Impala. As he started the car, Dean pounded his fist against the steering wheel. He knew what would happen now. Now there was no going back...


End file.
